[Sorrow is less agreeable than Tranquility, though neither of them are particularly prone to intimidation or shows of power. He doesn't seem too put-out by Danse's request either way, and considers it for a moment before responding.]
I'll plant a couple of seeds and observe their growth. If there are any complications, I'll submit a formal request for more suitable soil. For now, there is something else I'd like to ask of you.
[Deep breath. Keep calm. Try not to think about this sadness, this sorrow that he's clamped down on, unwilling to allow it an outlet. But being in Sorrow's temple has started to spread cracks across the vault door, and it's all starting to leak out.]
Where I come from, all plants have been contaminated with radiation due to a war over 200 years ago. I'm not sure if you and your kind know what radiation is but to summarize, it can be poisonous to the human body even in small doses.
The immediate effects of consuming the average irradiated fruit is not noticeable, but build up over time can lead to radiation poisoning. Preliminary symptoms are minor and include nausea, vomiting, fever, fatigue, headaches and reddening skin, but prolonged exposure would cause a series of severe illnesses that inevitably lead to death.
If you're able, I would like to request a removal of radiation from the samples I brought with me from the Commonwealth.
[He says it as if he's sounding out that word for himself, frowning a little as the concept is explained to him. It seems like quite an inconvenient thing, and if that's the case for this man's homeworld then it's not really a surprise that he'd like to avoid carrying it over here.
If you're capable of performing that task, then we can discuss payment.
[Keep things professional. Neutral. He doesn't have to like this god to carry out a fair barter, and the sooner they settle the deal the quicker he can get out of here.]
[If it's the kind of poison he has experience with, anyway. If not, he can try to make it work regardless.
Sorrow takes a step back, pressing his palms against the altar behind him and using it to lift himself up, sitting on the flat stone slab and crossing one leg over the other- the movement conversational, and yet strangely delicate.]
For this, I want to know your deepest shame. Something that you've done that you regret more than anything else.
The silence of Sorrow's temple turns damning the longer he takes to answer. Come on Danse, this isn't hard. His greatest shame? He's got plenty to pick from. A lifetime of bad choices, each one a source of shame. But if he boiled it down to just one, to the source of everything that's gone wrong...well. That's easy, isn't it?
Everything went wrong because of him. Because of his existence. Because--...]
...I failed to execute myself when I found out that I am a synth. I am a mockery of the human race. Technology gone wrong. A traitor to the Brotherhood and everything it stood for. But when I should have pulled the trigger, I ran. I was confused. I couldn't think. My instincts told me to survive, so my legs carried me away.
[His voice is toneless, distant, almost like he's reciting facts rather than his deepest darkest secret. Expression blank and devoid of emotion. But just look into his eyes, Sorrow. Gazing into the past, staring at every painful memory and reminder. Hollowed out with guilt and despair, with self-loathing and hurt and yes, shame.]
Because I failed to adhere to the code, the Brotherhood of Steel was destroyed by the very woman I sponsored into their ranks. My brothers and sisters died. Arthur and Haylen died. I invalidated every sacrifice made by those who threw down their lives for the Brotherhood's cause. The enemy we set out to defeat become the ultimate masters of the Commonwealth.
[Is all that he feels the need to say about that. It's not an uncommon theme that he's seen from humanity so far- shame in living, guilt and regret over being alive or somehow failing to die. It's a sentiment that he can't quite comprehend, but it's starting to help him shape his idea of these people, who hold so many things over their own lives.
He considers it for a moment, the desperation, how it seems to be viewed as cowardice... and then nods, accepting the offering.]
Very well. Your plants will grow, and they will be free from your poison. Do you require anything else of me?
Interesting. [His voice cracks quietly, and his hands at his side clench tightly.] You think the farce that was my life is interesting!?
[He shouldn't be getting angry. There's no point in expecting these gods to completely understand how he'd work. Those at home didn't get it either. People didn't understand why he was so crushed to learn he was a synth; they knew of his hatred of synths, but they could not comprehend why he couldn't simply just accept that he was wrong about synths. Why he was so insistent that all synths were monstrosities, man's attempt at playing god gone wrong.
Nora hadn't understood either, but she had accepted that he may never be able to accept his past, or his lack of a one. Instead she tried to help him carve a better future for himself, hoping that in the process, somehow, he'd come closer to acceptance on his own.
No one else had understood. But she alone had accepted. And Danse sincerely thought he could live with that. He sincerely believed that they might've had a happy ending.
Stupid.
It really takes just the slightest crack to breakdown the wall. Danse is angry, but he's also in real anguish and pain and sadness, and it's all pouring out from him with the force of an unleashed dam. He's trying hard not to lose his temper, but damn it does Sorrow's clinical and detached manner make that hard.] Are you so devoid of the capability for empathy that the only thing you can derive from my suffering is an interesting bedtime story!?
[He corrects quietly, watching as Danse wrestles with his many emotions. There's pain there, he can feel it, but also rage, which doesn't really help him at all. No matter- he's already gotten what he wanted and the rest of this conversation would be irrelevant.
Still, it gives Sorrow a little pause, and his eyes flick downward for a moment in consideration.]
I have priorities. I cannot pour my heart into every sadness that comes my way. Your kind does not work the same way that we do- I wouldn't expect you to understand.
[But...]
Your contribution is valued. I have given you what you wanted. Is that not enough?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[Sorrow is less agreeable than Tranquility, though neither of them are particularly prone to intimidation or shows of power. He doesn't seem too put-out by Danse's request either way, and considers it for a moment before responding.]
It should. Or I can alter them so it will.
no subject
[Deep breath. Keep calm. Try not to think about this sadness, this sorrow that he's clamped down on, unwilling to allow it an outlet. But being in Sorrow's temple has started to spread cracks across the vault door, and it's all starting to leak out.]
Where I come from, all plants have been contaminated with radiation due to a war over 200 years ago. I'm not sure if you and your kind know what radiation is but to summarize, it can be poisonous to the human body even in small doses.
The immediate effects of consuming the average irradiated fruit is not noticeable, but build up over time can lead to radiation poisoning. Preliminary symptoms are minor and include nausea, vomiting, fever, fatigue, headaches and reddening skin, but prolonged exposure would cause a series of severe illnesses that inevitably lead to death.
If you're able, I would like to request a removal of radiation from the samples I brought with me from the Commonwealth.
no subject
[He says it as if he's sounding out that word for himself, frowning a little as the concept is explained to him. It seems like quite an inconvenient thing, and if that's the case for this man's homeworld then it's not really a surprise that he'd like to avoid carrying it over here.
So Sorrow nods, agreeable.]
So it would be like removing a poison?
no subject
If you're capable of performing that task, then we can discuss payment.
[Keep things professional. Neutral. He doesn't have to like this god to carry out a fair barter, and the sooner they settle the deal the quicker he can get out of here.]
no subject
[If it's the kind of poison he has experience with, anyway. If not, he can try to make it work regardless.
Sorrow takes a step back, pressing his palms against the altar behind him and using it to lift himself up, sitting on the flat stone slab and crossing one leg over the other- the movement conversational, and yet strangely delicate.]
For this, I want to know your deepest shame. Something that you've done that you regret more than anything else.
CW: Suicide ideation | Fallout 4 spoilers
His greatest shame.
The silence of Sorrow's temple turns damning the longer he takes to answer. Come on Danse, this isn't hard. His greatest shame? He's got plenty to pick from. A lifetime of bad choices, each one a source of shame. But if he boiled it down to just one, to the source of everything that's gone wrong...well. That's easy, isn't it?
Everything went wrong because of him. Because of his existence. Because--...]
...I failed to execute myself when I found out that I am a synth. I am a mockery of the human race. Technology gone wrong. A traitor to the Brotherhood and everything it stood for. But when I should have pulled the trigger, I ran. I was confused. I couldn't think. My instincts told me to survive, so my legs carried me away.
[His voice is toneless, distant, almost like he's reciting facts rather than his deepest darkest secret. Expression blank and devoid of emotion. But just look into his eyes, Sorrow. Gazing into the past, staring at every painful memory and reminder. Hollowed out with guilt and despair, with self-loathing and hurt and yes, shame.]
Because I failed to adhere to the code, the Brotherhood of Steel was destroyed by the very woman I sponsored into their ranks. My brothers and sisters died. Arthur and Haylen died. I invalidated every sacrifice made by those who threw down their lives for the Brotherhood's cause. The enemy we set out to defeat become the ultimate masters of the Commonwealth.
And yet I am still alive.
no subject
[Is all that he feels the need to say about that. It's not an uncommon theme that he's seen from humanity so far- shame in living, guilt and regret over being alive or somehow failing to die. It's a sentiment that he can't quite comprehend, but it's starting to help him shape his idea of these people, who hold so many things over their own lives.
He considers it for a moment, the desperation, how it seems to be viewed as cowardice... and then nods, accepting the offering.]
Very well. Your plants will grow, and they will be free from your poison. Do you require anything else of me?
no subject
[He shouldn't be getting angry. There's no point in expecting these gods to completely understand how he'd work. Those at home didn't get it either. People didn't understand why he was so crushed to learn he was a synth; they knew of his hatred of synths, but they could not comprehend why he couldn't simply just accept that he was wrong about synths. Why he was so insistent that all synths were monstrosities, man's attempt at playing god gone wrong.
Nora hadn't understood either, but she had accepted that he may never be able to accept his past, or his lack of a one. Instead she tried to help him carve a better future for himself, hoping that in the process, somehow, he'd come closer to acceptance on his own.
No one else had understood. But she alone had accepted. And Danse sincerely thought he could live with that. He sincerely believed that they might've had a happy ending.
Stupid.
It really takes just the slightest crack to breakdown the wall. Danse is angry, but he's also in real anguish and pain and sadness, and it's all pouring out from him with the force of an unleashed dam. He's trying hard not to lose his temper, but damn it does Sorrow's clinical and detached manner make that hard.] Are you so devoid of the capability for empathy that the only thing you can derive from my suffering is an interesting bedtime story!?
no subject
[He corrects quietly, watching as Danse wrestles with his many emotions. There's pain there, he can feel it, but also rage, which doesn't really help him at all. No matter- he's already gotten what he wanted and the rest of this conversation would be irrelevant.
Still, it gives Sorrow a little pause, and his eyes flick downward for a moment in consideration.]
I have priorities. I cannot pour my heart into every sadness that comes my way. Your kind does not work the same way that we do- I wouldn't expect you to understand.
[But...]
Your contribution is valued. I have given you what you wanted. Is that not enough?