[It's no secret that Nick doesn't exactly trust the gods, especially not after all that's happened.
The last couple of months have been particularly tough on the old synth. There were the ghosts, one of whom appeared as Rey's mother; she asked Nick to kill her in order to save her family, his family. He's not a cold-blooded killer, but he did what he had to do. The blood staining the riverbank reminded him too much of Jenny -- it had all been too close to home.
Then they were put through the wringer with that fake life, in which Rey really was his family: he was married to her mother, living a peaceful life in a small town. It had been about as idyllic as some of those pre-war memories of his he has copied into his hardware, the kind of life he'd never have. As the illusion had faded, he felt his mechanical heart crack from the remorse. That wife he'd had? Dead by his hands, her corpse buried by the water. Hell, it hadn't even been the real Undine, but for as much as that ghost had loved Rey, she might as well have been. She was about as much the real Undine as he was the real Nick Valentine.
Nick's patrols have gotten longer, his head more cluttered. To top it all off, the Null are back on the network, and this time, they're throwing out more than just feelers for who they can turn to their side. Nick can't trust the gods, but he can't trust them, either, especially not with the way they've been talking. So long as the gods die and they get the Door, they don't care who gets hurt.
They believe machines shouldn't feel, shouldn't be as close to human as he is. He might be more machine than man, but he refuses to turn his back on the people who want to stay in Hadriel, those who would be living under these Null. If they can't feel fear, there's no doubt in his mind they don't feel generosity or benevolence, either. They might be able to send folks home with the Door if they got a hold of it, sure... but if they could do that, who was to say they wouldn't send themselves through it, too?
Maybe they would just exist, as they said to one of the curious folks on their transmission, or maybe they'd turn their sights to the next thing they deemed unnatural. Nick doesn't know, but he's not about to hedge his bets on replacing one problem with another. What he wants is answers. Most of the gods are evasive, at best, so shortly after the transmission goes live, he heads to the temple of the most practical of the bunch. There's always the chance the Null could be watching elsewhere on the network; he'd rather do this in person.
Though he doesn't immediately see Sorrow in his temple, Nick doesn't hesitate to let him know why he's here. He speaks up, the quiet discontent in his voice used to fight back the regret he feels stirring in his clockwork gut.]
Hey. I'm sure someone's told you by now, but you've got a bunch of machines on the network again. And this time, they're promising weapons for anyone who wants to try and kill Hope.
[Sorrow isn't physically in his temple, but he's always there in some form or another, aware of the comings and goings through the quiet spikes of emotion therein. He feels it from Nick this time, and more- he feels the rest of it, the regret from the recent events, the difficulty that he's had.
There's no guilt- or if there is, then he doesn't let himself feel it. Everyone does what they can to survive, and the gods here are no different. If that makes them enemies of these people, then so be it, but there's a necessity to it that isn't easily understood by a victim.
Still.]
Yes.
[The voice echoes through the temple and Sorrow steps in gingerly behind Nick, composed as ever, despite the matter at hand.]
But none of you here have the power to kill Hope yet.
[Nick spins as he feels that itch at the back of his neck, synthesized senses telling him someone is standing behind him. His own expression is impassive, even if what he truly feels is harder to hide from the god. There's so much of it this time around that it's harder for him to rein in.]
Not yet. But they've got a few takers this time around.
[Not a good sign, but it's not like this wasn't a long time coming. Sorrow frowns and then lets out a soft sigh.]
We need to figure out how to counter these threats. How they're getting onto our network, what their plans are. It's not like any of you can kill Hope within normal means- how do they expect you to do it? What will they ask of you? Anticipating their next move is more vital than anything else.
[His brow knits tighter as he steels himself against that gnawing sense of despondence at the back of his mind.]
They haven't exactly explained what kind of weapons they'll be handing out yet, but these Null seem pretty confident they've got something that'll work. All they need is someone from here to pull the trigger. And after the last couple of months, it's no surprise people are willing to hear them out, even without what they're promising as a reward.
[But Nick has a point, as brutal as his point may be.]
We've been unkind. But we've been desperate- there is only so much to be gained by compromise. I'm sure that doesn't matter to those who would turn against us... I suppose it's time we start taking countermeasures to protect ourselves from you.
It's not like we can listen to the direction of a hundred of you at once. At best, we can have you help us agree on a course of action- which is what we've been trying to do.
[He says that single word with just a hint of doubt. It's hard for him to keep his temper and fight the melancholy starting to edge into his mind. After all he's been through lately, especially with the ghosts and what he had to do Rey's mother just to keep his family safe, he's got a lot weighing on his conscience.
But hell, at least he's got one. That's more than he can say for the Null.]
Look, I know it's hard for us to get on the same page, but we have to with this. The Null are getting a lot of attention,and now they're talking about getting people home with the Door the second they get their hands on it. That's real tempting for some people, especially those who don't think about the greater consequences of all this.
Have you thought about letting us know what's coming before you go trying to force emotions out of us? Hell, some folks would volunteer to help if it meant keeping this place going. They already do when they make bargains with you, don't they?
[He says that flatly. Sorrow is practical -- maybe too much so, at times. Nick doesn't give up on making him see reason just yet, but he struggles to keep the terseness out of his voice as he continues.]
I understand that you've gotta do what you've gotta do to get by, but what's 'satisfying results' for you is sheer torture for some of us. That business with the ghosts? That was too far.
[Being morbid was the point, as it seems to take straightforward ones to get through to the gods.]
For some folks, those are just as bad. What you deem as making them happy might just make them want to go home even more, and hate the people who are keeping them here all the while.
This isn't about winning. It's about the fact that we need each other to survive this, and if you aren't even willing to compromise, you'll find people will be more than happy to turn against you, survival or not. It's not logical, but that's just how people are.
If I compromise, there's a very likely chance that we all die.
[He restates.]
In this scenario, all of our survival and your happiness appear to be on parallel and separate paths. The sooner your kind will understand this, the less likely they are to get us all killed.
[There's a pause, and then, he grits out through his teeth:]
I don't like this either. It's crude and it's cruel and I would not endorse this under normal circumstances. But I am willing to do what needs to be done. I would do far worse to keep my species intact.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
[June 29th; action]
The last couple of months have been particularly tough on the old synth. There were the ghosts, one of whom appeared as Rey's mother; she asked Nick to kill her in order to save her family, his family. He's not a cold-blooded killer, but he did what he had to do. The blood staining the riverbank reminded him too much of Jenny -- it had all been too close to home.
Then they were put through the wringer with that fake life, in which Rey really was his family: he was married to her mother, living a peaceful life in a small town. It had been about as idyllic as some of those pre-war memories of his he has copied into his hardware, the kind of life he'd never have. As the illusion had faded, he felt his mechanical heart crack from the remorse. That wife he'd had? Dead by his hands, her corpse buried by the water. Hell, it hadn't even been the real Undine, but for as much as that ghost had loved Rey, she might as well have been. She was about as much the real Undine as he was the real Nick Valentine.
Nick's patrols have gotten longer, his head more cluttered. To top it all off, the Null are back on the network, and this time, they're throwing out more than just feelers for who they can turn to their side. Nick can't trust the gods, but he can't trust them, either, especially not with the way they've been talking. So long as the gods die and they get the Door, they don't care who gets hurt.
They believe machines shouldn't feel, shouldn't be as close to human as he is. He might be more machine than man, but he refuses to turn his back on the people who want to stay in Hadriel, those who would be living under these Null. If they can't feel fear, there's no doubt in his mind they don't feel generosity or benevolence, either. They might be able to send folks home with the Door if they got a hold of it, sure... but if they could do that, who was to say they wouldn't send themselves through it, too?
Maybe they would just exist, as they said to one of the curious folks on their transmission, or maybe they'd turn their sights to the next thing they deemed unnatural. Nick doesn't know, but he's not about to hedge his bets on replacing one problem with another. What he wants is answers. Most of the gods are evasive, at best, so shortly after the transmission goes live, he heads to the temple of the most practical of the bunch. There's always the chance the Null could be watching elsewhere on the network; he'd rather do this in person.
Though he doesn't immediately see Sorrow in his temple, Nick doesn't hesitate to let him know why he's here. He speaks up, the quiet discontent in his voice used to fight back the regret he feels stirring in his clockwork gut.]
Hey. I'm sure someone's told you by now, but you've got a bunch of machines on the network again. And this time, they're promising weapons for anyone who wants to try and kill Hope.
[action]
There's no guilt- or if there is, then he doesn't let himself feel it. Everyone does what they can to survive, and the gods here are no different. If that makes them enemies of these people, then so be it, but there's a necessity to it that isn't easily understood by a victim.
Still.]
Yes.
[The voice echoes through the temple and Sorrow steps in gingerly behind Nick, composed as ever, despite the matter at hand.]
But none of you here have the power to kill Hope yet.
no subject
Not yet. But they've got a few takers this time around.
no subject
[Not a good sign, but it's not like this wasn't a long time coming. Sorrow frowns and then lets out a soft sigh.]
We need to figure out how to counter these threats. How they're getting onto our network, what their plans are. It's not like any of you can kill Hope within normal means- how do they expect you to do it? What will they ask of you? Anticipating their next move is more vital than anything else.
no subject
They haven't exactly explained what kind of weapons they'll be handing out yet, but these Null seem pretty confident they've got something that'll work. All they need is someone from here to pull the trigger. And after the last couple of months, it's no surprise people are willing to hear them out, even without what they're promising as a reward.
no subject
[But Nick has a point, as brutal as his point may be.]
We've been unkind. But we've been desperate- there is only so much to be gained by compromise. I'm sure that doesn't matter to those who would turn against us... I suppose it's time we start taking countermeasures to protect ourselves from you.
no subject
[He sighs, something a machine like him ought not do. It lends to his humanity, as does his softer tone as he continues.]
I know there's only so much to be gained by compromise, but if we keep going the way we are, we're all going to be in a lot of trouble.
no subject
[Bluntly.]
It's not like we can listen to the direction of a hundred of you at once. At best, we can have you help us agree on a course of action- which is what we've been trying to do.
no subject
[He says that single word with just a hint of doubt. It's hard for him to keep his temper and fight the melancholy starting to edge into his mind. After all he's been through lately, especially with the ghosts and what he had to do Rey's mother just to keep his family safe, he's got a lot weighing on his conscience.
But hell, at least he's got one. That's more than he can say for the Null.]
Look, I know it's hard for us to get on the same page, but we have to with this. The Null are getting a lot of attention,and now they're talking about getting people home with the Door the second they get their hands on it. That's real tempting for some people, especially those who don't think about the greater consequences of all this.
no subject
[Curtly.]
What would you suggest? And please, I'd like direct suggestions, not just a vague "work with us more" or "be nicer".
no subject
no subject
[He considers it.]
Maybe from time to time. But I find that the unexpected tends to yield more satisfying results.
no subject
[He says that flatly. Sorrow is practical -- maybe too much so, at times. Nick doesn't give up on making him see reason just yet, but he struggles to keep the terseness out of his voice as he continues.]
I understand that you've gotta do what you've gotta do to get by, but what's 'satisfying results' for you is sheer torture for some of us. That business with the ghosts? That was too far.
no subject
[That was a pretty rough one, he'll admit.]
But ultimately, all of you are alive again. Would that be the case if I truly did go 'too far'?
no subject
We're alive, but we're still living with the aftermath. For some, that's making them wish they hadn't pulled through at all.
no subject
[Frankly.]
Are there not good events, too? Things that make you happy to... 'pull through'?
no subject
For some folks, those are just as bad. What you deem as making them happy might just make them want to go home even more, and hate the people who are keeping them here all the while.
no subject
[Frankly.]
We'll keep doing as we've been doing, as that is the only thing to achieve desired results. We cannot afford regret or hesitation or we may all die.
no subject
no subject
[He restates.]
In this scenario, all of our survival and your happiness appear to be on parallel and separate paths. The sooner your kind will understand this, the less likely they are to get us all killed.
[There's a pause, and then, he grits out through his teeth:]
I don't like this either. It's crude and it's cruel and I would not endorse this under normal circumstances. But I am willing to do what needs to be done. I would do far worse to keep my species intact.